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In honor of Albert
Einstein’s 134th birthday,
National Wormhole Day Bloghop.
Here’s the lowdown:
What
would you do or where would you go if you could traverse a wormhole through
space or time just once? One safe, round trip passage. Would you go back in time
and talk some sense into a younger you? Go five years into the future and bring
back the Wall Street Journal? See just how the heck the Great Pyramids of Giza
Tell
the world, in 100 words more or less, what you would do if you had a two-way
ticket to traverse a wormhole.
Considering all the financial suffering my family has
experienced in the last five years, I should
either go back in time and invest in Google or Apple, or go forward and see
what stock is super hot, ‘cause damn,
college is freakin’ expensive.
But all I really want to do is go back twenty-eight years,
five months, and eighteen days and tell myself that, at eighteen years of age,
I am strong enough to raise my
daughter, that I can do it on my own and don’t need my parents permission or
assistance, that her father and I will have the strongest, most loving marriage
ever, that even though it might be selfless to let her go so she might have a better life with the adoptive parents
I’d chosen for her, what her father and I have to offer is what is best.
If only…
37 comments:
Oh, that's so sad.
Oh! I'm sorry, Nancy.
That is a very difficult decision to have to make.
So sorry, Nancy. That must have been SO hard. As an adoptive mom, I can say that I'm grateful to be given the opportunity to be a mom. I hope some day if you've haven't yet that you'll be able to connect with your daughter. I hope some day things will open up in China so my daughter and I can find her birth family too.
This breaks my heart, Nancy. I hope you take solace from Natalie's words.
I have another friend who lives with that regret every day. If only we could all go back and convince our younger selves we're stronger than we know. Good use of the wormhole. :)
You are strong. You survived a very difficult situation and chose to remember.
Thanks for sharing your story. Very courageous of you to do so. I love Natalies comment.
Love the honesty and transparency here, Nancy. (It's what makes you a great writer, too.) We just make decisions at the time we think are best with our limited experience and knowledge. What courage and love.
That is such a painful regret to have. I'm sorry. I hope you find her someday.
Sometimes we just have to believe that things are as God intended them to be, even when we can't understand why.
This is heartbreaking.
wow, that's a hard regret to have. I'll just echo Natalie's words.
This really touched me, Nancy. So sorry you have to live with this regret.
Oh Nancy, this must be a wish you have every day. I'm glad you know now that you were strong enough, and I admire so much that you were brave enough to bring your child into this world at a time when that couldn't have been easy. I'm sure deep inside her, your daughter can feel the love you've given her all her life.
*shivers and hugs* You made me cry.
Those are some deep quests that you choose to partake in.
Powerful stuff, Nancy. I wish I knew at 18 what I do now!
Oh man. I can't do time travel hopes and dreams, because if I go back and save my mom, then I never get to have my kids. :(
Oh, what a sad thing to look back on. Sorry for that. It's a heavy regret.
What emotions and desires questions like these bring up! A very heartfelt desire is this, and I pray regret doesn't take away too much of your life now.
College. Ugh. I feel your pain.
On a personal note...I must say, I have a very, very special place of respect and love for women who give babies up for adoption. It's the most selfless thing on this earth. You sacrificed your body, your heart, and a piece of your soul for another.
You have my eternal admiration. I pray you find peace. <3
if only...
right you are!
My heart breaks for you!
First I'd go back and tell my parents how much I appreciated them. Then I'd save my children.
I think your choice was very touching, Nancy.
What a sad yet moving post, Nancy.I'm sure it was a difficult choice to make back then.
Nutschell
www.thewritingnut.com
Nancy, it was very brave of you to share your most personal feelings and thoughts with us. Know that you have much love and support here anytime you need it.
www.sandysanderellas.blogspot.com
Wow. There's no place for one of my usual flippant comments here. You did a brave thing, both in doing what you felt was right for your daughter at the time, and in sharing your feelings about it now. Of all the wormhole posts I've read so far, yours is the one I'd most wish to be possible.
I'm going to go cry now.
Aw! :( This breaks my heart.
Nancy . . . I truly believe everything happens for a reason. You reached past your own personal plans and desires to do what you thought was best for your daughter at the time. God blesses that kind of sacrifice. We're all adopted sons and daughters of the God of this universe. She's in good hands. If you're not reunited with her in this life, you'll see her on the other side for sure. Thanks for sharing your heart. ~hugs!
You couldn't have known, and in a way there has to be comfort in that. But I can't even imagine - I'm not a mother except of cats.
You might need ruby slippers to go back and fix that regret, or just forge ahead.
Youth doesn't always see the path before them with the clearness a few years will bring.
Nice, Nancy, and your choice touches the heart of all who have regrets.
Wow, I'm so sorry. Was it an open adoption, or closed? I'm sending you positive vibes.
No regrets girl remember...everything, EVERYTHING happens for a reason, if not for you, then for them. I'm hugging you big time!! You jerk tears with that.
Oh, Nancy! I bet that many of us have story to tell and regrets from the past. A while ago I'd read story very similar to yours but with an unexpected, happy ending. Here is the link to "Lost and Found" http://sivmaria.blogspot.ca/2012/05/lost-and-found.html
{{{hugs}}}
Evalina, This and that...
That is a very difficult decision to have to make.
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