Wednesday, March 13, 2013

National Wormhole Day Bloghop



In honor of Albert Einstein’s 134th birthday,
Stephen Tremp, Laura Eno, and Luanne Smith are hosting the
National Wormhole Day Bloghop. 

Here’s the lowdown:

What would you do or where would you go if you could traverse a wormhole through space or time just once? One safe, round trip passage. Would you go back in time and talk some sense into a younger you? Go five years into the future and bring back the Wall Street Journal? See just how the heck the Great Pyramids of Giza were really built? View what the other side of the universe looks like? Kill Hitler?

Tell the world, in 100 words more or less, what you would do if you had a two-way ticket to traverse a wormhole. 

Considering all the financial suffering my family has experienced in the last five years, I should either go back in time and invest in Google or Apple, or go forward and see what stock is super hot, ‘cause damn, college is freakin’ expensive. 

But all I really want to do is go back twenty-eight years, five months, and eighteen days and tell myself that, at eighteen years of age, I am strong enough to raise my daughter, that I can do it on my own and don’t need my parents permission or assistance, that her father and I will have the strongest, most loving marriage ever, that even though it might be selfless to let her go so she might have a better life with the adoptive parents I’d chosen for her, what her father and I have to offer is what is best.

If only…




38 comments:

Annalisa Crawford said...

Oh, that's so sad.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Oh! I'm sorry, Nancy.

JeffO said...

That is a very difficult decision to have to make.

Natalie Aguirre said...

So sorry, Nancy. That must have been SO hard. As an adoptive mom, I can say that I'm grateful to be given the opportunity to be a mom. I hope some day if you've haven't yet that you'll be able to connect with your daughter. I hope some day things will open up in China so my daughter and I can find her birth family too.

Laura Eno said...

This breaks my heart, Nancy. I hope you take solace from Natalie's words.

L.G. Smith said...

I have another friend who lives with that regret every day. If only we could all go back and convince our younger selves we're stronger than we know. Good use of the wormhole. :)

Scribbles From Jenn said...

You are strong. You survived a very difficult situation and chose to remember.

Stephen Tremp said...

Thanks for sharing your story. Very courageous of you to do so. I love Natalies comment.

Julie Luek said...

Love the honesty and transparency here, Nancy. (It's what makes you a great writer, too.) We just make decisions at the time we think are best with our limited experience and knowledge. What courage and love.

Isis Rushdan said...

That is such a painful regret to have. I'm sorry. I hope you find her someday.

LD Masterson said...

Sometimes we just have to believe that things are as God intended them to be, even when we can't understand why.

Damyanti said...

This is heartbreaking.

mshatch said...

wow, that's a hard regret to have. I'll just echo Natalie's words.

Julie Flanders said...

This really touched me, Nancy. So sorry you have to live with this regret.

Nicki Elson said...

Oh Nancy, this must be a wish you have every day. I'm glad you know now that you were strong enough, and I admire so much that you were brave enough to bring your child into this world at a time when that couldn't have been easy. I'm sure deep inside her, your daughter can feel the love you've given her all her life.

Donna K. Weaver said...

*shivers and hugs* You made me cry.

roe2me said...

Those are some deep quests that you choose to partake in.

Emily R. King said...

Powerful stuff, Nancy. I wish I knew at 18 what I do now!

Matthew MacNish said...

Oh man. I can't do time travel hopes and dreams, because if I go back and save my mom, then I never get to have my kids. :(

Andrew Leon said...

I have no words.

Hart Johnson said...

Oh, what a sad thing to look back on. Sorry for that. It's a heavy regret.

Nancy LaRonda Johnson said...

What emotions and desires questions like these bring up! A very heartfelt desire is this, and I pray regret doesn't take away too much of your life now.

Elizabeth Seckman said...

College. Ugh. I feel your pain.

On a personal note...I must say, I have a very, very special place of respect and love for women who give babies up for adoption. It's the most selfless thing on this earth. You sacrificed your body, your heart, and a piece of your soul for another.

You have my eternal admiration. I pray you find peace. <3

Adriana Dascalu said...

if only...

right you are!

M. J. Joachim said...

My heart breaks for you!

Joylene Nowell Butler said...

First I'd go back and tell my parents how much I appreciated them. Then I'd save my children.

I think your choice was very touching, Nancy.

nutschell said...

What a sad yet moving post, Nancy.I'm sure it was a difficult choice to make back then.
Nutschell
www.thewritingnut.com

Sandy Campbell said...

Nancy, it was very brave of you to share your most personal feelings and thoughts with us. Know that you have much love and support here anytime you need it.

www.sandysanderellas.blogspot.com

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Wow. There's no place for one of my usual flippant comments here. You did a brave thing, both in doing what you felt was right for your daughter at the time, and in sharing your feelings about it now. Of all the wormhole posts I've read so far, yours is the one I'd most wish to be possible.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I'm going to go cry now.

cherylkayrose said...

Aw! :( This breaks my heart.

jamieayres.com said...

Nancy . . . I truly believe everything happens for a reason. You reached past your own personal plans and desires to do what you thought was best for your daughter at the time. God blesses that kind of sacrifice. We're all adopted sons and daughters of the God of this universe. She's in good hands. If you're not reunited with her in this life, you'll see her on the other side for sure. Thanks for sharing your heart. ~hugs!

Trisha F said...

You couldn't have known, and in a way there has to be comfort in that. But I can't even imagine - I'm not a mother except of cats.

D.G. Hudson said...

You might need ruby slippers to go back and fix that regret, or just forge ahead.

Youth doesn't always see the path before them with the clearness a few years will bring.

Nice, Nancy, and your choice touches the heart of all who have regrets.

Lynn(e) Schmidt said...

Wow, I'm so sorry. Was it an open adoption, or closed? I'm sending you positive vibes.

Tammy Theriault said...

No regrets girl remember...everything, EVERYTHING happens for a reason, if not for you, then for them. I'm hugging you big time!! You jerk tears with that.

EvalinaMaria said...

Oh, Nancy! I bet that many of us have story to tell and regrets from the past. A while ago I'd read story very similar to yours but with an unexpected, happy ending. Here is the link to "Lost and Found" http://sivmaria.blogspot.ca/2012/05/lost-and-found.html
{{{hugs}}}
Evalina, This and that...

laurie said...

That is a very difficult decision to have to make.