Welcome to the 2013 A to Z Challenge!
This year, I’m
focusing on two themes: Emotions and
grammar,
depending on which
letter we’re on each day.
I’ll be sharing
mostly what I’ve learned about writing emotion into a novel, but I’ll also be
throwing in a few key grammar lessons, pet peeves I’ve picked up while working
as an editor.
Today’s a grammar day...well, sorta.
__________
I is for incidental action: in fiction, an action happening in connection
with or resulting from something more important;
While every novel should be filled with action, what often
makes the story come alive and feel real—like we’re watching a movie in our
heads—is the incidental action. If there
is no incidental action, the story feels flat and jerky as the narration moves
from one big sequence to another.
Incidental action is the small movements typically shown
between lines of dialogue. Take this
short clip from a scene in my novel, The
Mistaken, for example:
“You stay of it, Nick. I mean it. This is none of your business or
your concern,”
Nick pushed his brother’s hand away. “I’d be careful if I were you, brother. I’m no longer that weak boy who followed you
around like a lost puppy.”
Tyler reacted swiftly, surging forward and
pushing Nick back against the wall. His
lips were pressed together in an angry line and he spoke through clenched
teeth.
“You stay the hell out of my affairs, you
hear me? And stay away from my
wife! She doesn’t need your kind of
help.”
They stood facing each other, nose-to-nose. Ty’s face twisted in anger, but Nick looked
unfazed, even amused, a smirk pulling up along one side of his mouth.
The staring, the pointing, the pushing, along with all the
facial expressions, bring the scene to life. If all you had was the dialogue, it would feel rather bland
and passive. The reader needs all the small movements to see the story
progress physically in their mind.
If there were no incidental action, the progression within and
between each scene would feel abrupt and jarring without any way to visualize
what the characters are doing as they speak or how they move from place to
place.
Incidental action also helps the reader keep track of who’s
speaking without a boat load of dialogue tags to slow it all down. BUT—and this is big but—do NOT use incidental
action as a dialogue tag. That is, each
action must be a complete sentence with the first word capped and
punctuation at the end—a period, exclamation point, or question mark. No exceptions. Dialogue tags are he said, she replied, they screamed, we moaned, etc., and are also
meant to help the reader keep track of who’s speaking, but they are not
incidental action.
19 comments:
Great post and terrific point. And reminding that these actions are not dialogue tags made me smile.
This is a great tip, Nancy. Thanks for sharing it.
People don't just stand there when talking. They move, even if it's just fidgeting.
Incidental action is also a great way to show what characters are like. Really, it serves multiple functions within a story.
:-)
Annnnnd incidental action is also great for keeping the rhythm of the piece.
You illustrate it very well!
I appreciate the tip that incidental action should be in separate sentences. I've tended to mix it with dialogue tags before - so you shouldn't say: "...he said, slamming the door"?
LIke Nick said, I just had a critique partner get after me about attaching too much action to my dialogue tags. It does get tedious after awhile. :)
Good post. Especially the reminder about not using action as a dialogue tag. I have the urge to check my WIP.
Thanks for sharing these reminders.
So much better than dialogue tags!
No that's fine, as long as you don't use that structure too often. You just shouldn't say:
"Go ahead and leave," he slammed the door.
The action should not be used as a tag.
lol I don't think my editor like incidental action.
Incidental action is really important and you've pointed that out so well. Giving small beats between dialog or action always heightens interest. Great job, Nancy.
I'm always at a loss when I need to write what the characters are doing when they're talking. Thanks for the tips, Nancy.
I'm not going to lie. I giggled at the "we moaned" example. ;) Great post, Nancy!
Echoing all others here-- appreciate the mini lesson and your great book as an example. Thanks.
So many rules.
Makes me want to break them.
:)
Heather
Right you are Nancy, Your whole book was a movie in my head. You have mastered this ability.
I gave you props on my post today :)
Chuck at Apocalypse Now
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