Welcome to the 2013 A to Z Challenge!
This year, I’m
focusing on two themes: Emotions and
grammar,
depending on which
letter we’re on each day.
I’ll be sharing
mostly what I’ve learned about writing emotion into a novel, but I’ll also be
throwing in a few key grammar lessons, pet peeves I’ve picked up while working
as an editor.
Today’s an emotion
day.
__________
L is for Loneliness: affected with, characterized by, or causing a
depressing feeling of being alone; destitute of sympathetic or friendly
companionship; isolated.
I had to write about this emotion a great deal in my own
novel, The
Mistaken. The main character’s wife
dies and he feels responsible. Immediately
after, he isolates himself, even when there are many people around him, his
friends, his family. No one can take the
place of the one he loved most. A lot of
the time, that’s how loneliness works. I
wrote a short passage at the end that deals with this feeling:
“It
was disconcerting to be among all that was so familiar yet feel that the heart
that beat within my chest was not actually my own. I was lost, like a child separated from a parent
in a large crowd. Not alone, yet
quintessentially lonely.”
And in the middle of the book, when the sight of another
woman makes him miss the one he’s lost:
“I
spent more than a small amount of time propped up against the wall, watching
her, studying her face, so beautiful, so peaceful in sleep. I knew I shouldn’t be watching her without
her knowledge, but I missed having that kind of beauty near me. Having it so close, yet knowing it was not
mine, was a bitter pill, but I felt as if I’d been pulled back through time,
back to when Jillian was still alive. I
was unbearably lonely, and, at that moment, Hannah filled me in ways Jillian
once had. It was difficult to turn away
from something as alluring as that.”
This shows how loneliness is not about solitude, but rather
about isolation, feeling separate, emotionally divided from the whole. A character can be in a room full of his
friends and family while they festively celebrate a momentous occasion, a birthday,
a wedding, yet even among all these people, who likely love and care for him,
as the very symbols of happiness swirl around him, he feels the most
lonely.