Friday, August 5, 2011

Panty Meme (WTF?)

One of my dearest and earliest followers, Laila Knight, over at the Untroubled Kingdom of Laila Knight, has thrown me a…uh…challenge, of sorts.  Apparently, it’s Meme Week in the blogosphere.  Well, not only did I not know this, I didn’t even know what a meme was.  I had to ask my sixteen-year-old son.  He said it’s something that people do, a behavior, that’s passed from person to person.  Yeah, okay, that’s clear as mud, but whatever.  I’m an elder idiot, so I’ll just follow the rules and answer the questions, and boy, are they doozies.  Here we go:

1. What do you call your panties / underwear / undergarments? Do you have any commonly used nicknames for them?

Do people really have nicknames for their underwear?  Well, that’s what I call mine, underwear.  And I must say that I’ve always hated that word “panties.”  Eeesh.  It’s just so creepy.  Weird, I know.  I couldn’t even use the term in my book.  I used undergarments since it was spoken by a man. 

2. Have you ever had that supposedly common dream of being in a crowded place in only your underwear?

No, not in my underwear.  For whatever reason, I’m almost always buck nekkid.  And, you know what?  I don’t really seem to give a damn.  So what the heck does that say about me? 

3. What is the worst thing you can think of to make panties out of?

Red meat.  Have you seen any of those Lady Gaga outfits?  Yeah, she wears red meat.  So gross!

4. If you were a pair of panties, what color would you be, and WHY?

Oh, that’s easy.  Black!  It’s such a sexy, sultry color and makes me look thinner.  And that’s always a very good thing!

5. Have you ever thrown your panties/underwear at a rock star or other celebrity? If so, which one(s)? If not, which one(s) WOULD you throw your panties/underwear at, given the opportunity?

I’ve never understood why women do this.  Why would a man you did not know want your underwear?  And why would you want a strange man to have your underwear?  Again, that’s kind of gross.  Besides, at my age, after bearing two children naturally…uh…yeah…nobody would want my underwear.  Even I don’t want them. Blech!   

6. You’re out of clean panties. What do you do?

Well, I have OCD so I’d never be out of clean underwear, but if I were, I’d be sticking those little pads all over my pants.

7. Are you old enough to remember Underoos? If so, did you have any? Which ones?

I’m old enough to remember just about everything, so yes, but I thought those were mostly for boys.  Anyway, my mother never would have bought something like that for me.  I was Catholic, for Christ’s sake. 

8. If you could have any message printed on your panties, what would it be?

Oh, God, I could be really bad here, but I’ll be tame and say “Just Do It”

9. How many bloggers does it take to put panties on a goat?

(God, who thinks up this stuff?)  Well, my answer would be 153.  That’s one to write the instructions, one to critique, another to query, and 150 to reject.  

So now I guess I it’s my turn to pass along the torch.  Normally, the first people I would tag would be Lisa Regan and Bryce Daniels, but they’ve already received the honor from the other person I’d normally tag, Laila Knight, so I’m going out on a limb and selecting a few of my other followers because reading about their personal panty preferences will certainly help me get to know them better.

  1.  Al Penwasser at Penwasser’s Place because he’s already the funniest guy I know so I can’t wait to read what his witty responses will be.  Plus, he went above and beyond when he posted about receiving the Liebster Blog Award from me.  If you want to laugh, go check out Al.

  1. Tara Rendall at More Than Fiction because she and I have become good friends and good friends always embarrass each other.

  1. Alex J. Cavanaugh at Alex J. Cavanaugh because he’s so cool and hip and smart and is always there for me.

  1. L.G. Smith at Bards and Prophets because I want to hear what a real lady has to say.

  1. Donna K. Weaver at Weaving a Tale or Two because, like Alex, she’s always there for me and I really want to get to know her…uh…panties (ugh) a little better.

There is one more I’d love to hear from.  She’s my new friend, Jenny Hillier at Jennifer Hillier, The Serial Killer Files.  I’m almost afraid to ask because she’s a real life, bonafide published author and has to protect her image.  But she’s also witty and funny, so I’d love to see what she comes up with.

So, my friends, here’s your chance to unbunch those panties (ugh again) and have a little fun. 


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Thanks Nancy.
And never have I been so thankful I don't wear panties. Enough said!

Laila Knight said...

Nancy, it takes guts girl. Good job! I will be in awe if all the blogger friends you passed this on to do it. The followers you mentioned that I do know I respect and like very much. :)On another note, my husband loves the word panties. Have a great weekend!

Al Penwasser said...

Thanks, Nancy. I'll be all over this like a seagull on a french fry. Unfortunately, not today though. I still have to work on the blankety-blank-blank-blank bathroom. Waiting for paint to dry right now....
I never wore panties, either, by the way. But, I have...well, you'll have to wait.

Luanne G. Smith said...

Ha! I loved your answer to how many bloggers does it take to get panties on a goat.

And you know, I can't believe I'm even writing this, but I saw an episode of CSI once where they explored this really creepy fetish of men who like to buy women's used underwear. Yep, vacuum sealed and everything to preserve the scent. So gross. (oh, the weird searches you will get now).

Wow, I'm not sure I have the cajones for this meme. Blushes.

Jennifer Hillier said...

I will totally do this! It's all in good fun, so why not? My mother will probably be horrified, though, haha!

I've got a new vlog scheduled for Monday, so this will be my Wednesday post next week!

Your line, "I was Catholic, for Christ's sake" cracked me up. Totally something I would say.

And if there's actually a panty that can make you look thinner, I'll buy 12.

Carrie Butler said...

Oh, Nancy...
I'm still trying to explain my sudden burst of laughter to innocent bystanders. "Even I don’t want them. Blech!" You're killing me!

Great post. Have a great weekend! :)

klahanie said...

Ah yes, panties and nicknames. Well, now that I'm living in lil' ol' England, where, I've been reliably informed, that panties are called 'knickers', I guess they would have 'knickernames' for them, eh :)
Ummm..a very revealing post, Nancy. Very clever and very funny :)
And, I guess, congrats to those you passed on the challenge too.
Have a good weekend,

Weaver said...

Oh. My. Heck. People from my work and (conservative) church read my blog. Ugh

Joylene Nowell Butler said...

I agree, panties sounds icky. Underwear, something you wear under...

Congrats on the award.

Lisa Regan said...

Oh my God, I love you! You crack me up. I love the I have OCD so I'd never be out of clean panties! And your answer to how many bloggers does it take to put panties on a goat was priceless. I was weeping I laughed so hard. Awesome post.

Anonymous said...

ROFL! Gotta give you credit, girl. You have more guts than I do. HILARIOUS answers.

I'm a bit troubled, though, that I would be one of the first persons you thought of when it came to a meme about panties.

I guess I need to work on my image some more. I thought it was common knowledge that neither Poet nor I wear underwear. Never, of course, in the immediate vicinity of each other.

That's another blogosphere.

Intangible Hearts said...

Nancy-Bryce wanted me to come read your post since Laila suckered me into this and he wanted me to know he goes commando for some reason....Oh well, thanks for the smiles. Yes, you are braver than I am on most of those answers. :)

Laila Knight said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
writing and living by Richard P Hughes said...

Great post. Women's underwear have an allure for men that women just can't fathom. For me, though, they're mainly about "How do you fold them when they come out of the laundry?"

Anonymous said...

Sorry, Nancy, for hogging your blog this morning. But there is ONE issue that DESPERATELY needs attention before it gets out of hand.

@Laila: Please rephrase where you said "I knew Bryce went commando." I'm fighting all the rumors I can handle right now.

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter. :)

Nancy Thompson said...

Alex - I knew it was a longshot! No worries

Laila - thanks for the opportunity to humiliate myself. It won't be forgotten (bwah ha ha ha ha)

Al - I was hoping you couldn't resist!

LG & Donna - I understand if you guys aren't up to it. Just thought I'd ask since you always support me. It's all in fun though.

Jenny - YAY! You're ballsy, girl. (Whoa, is that an oxymoron?) I like that! And yeah, I think I need 12 all at once to make me look thinner!

Carrie - Thanks! Hey gurll, if you keep comin' 'round here, you might just be asked to take up the next challenge!

Klahanie - Knickernames, ha ha ha! That's too funny, dude! I should have challenged YOU!

Joylene - yeah, panties...ick, I can't stand to even say it.

Lisa - Thanks, hon! You would understand my OCD issues better than anyone. Are taking up Laila's challenge? I hope so!

Bryce - Yeah, I gotst me cajones swingin' big time! I would have asked you since you always seem to have the wittiest replies! (BTW, I removed Laila's last...uh...comment, as requested. Since you repeated it, shall I remove your last one, too? Oh, and then there's Desert Rock's...geez, what to do, what to do...)

The Desert Rocks - Well, thanks! If I was going to answer these ridiculous questions, I, at least, wanted to entertain. You did great, btw. Thanks for stopping by!

Richard - Ha ha ha! I the heck do you fold 'em? Thanks for commenting again! said...

Hi Nancy. I'm here as a new follower thanks to Al. Psst, he wears tighty-whiteys since the banana hammock of his got stretched out in the laundry. I'm guessing he doesn't mind my sharing this, since he revealed it on my blog. I don't know what he names his tighties. Can't wait to find out.

Nancy Thompson said...

Rawkinrobyn - Oh, I like you! That's too funny! It looks like Al's wearing black satin boxers in his toilet pic. Must be just a publicity shot!

Thanks for following me...I'll head over to your place and return the favor.

Jasmine Walt said...

Oh gawd, that's hilarious! For some reason the word 'panties' makes me squeamish too, lol. 'Underwear' works just fine for me!

I've always had that dream naked too. But somehow I manage to get myself in a pool or some other area where I can pretend that no one noticed I was ever naked in the first place. But whoever said dream logic made any sense? :)

Kimberly Krey said...

I totally enjoyed all the panty facts; I feel like I know you better already. :)

Empty Nest Insider said...

This was great! I especially liked your goats answer! You really handled these questions well! I probably would've had to change my bloomers 3 times just to get through it! Julie

Francesca Zappia said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who's irked by saying "panties."

Jeff King said...

Great comments and post!