Okay Friends, Followers and Readers extraordinaire,
I am participating in week 3 of
Query Critique Contest
In this week’s installment, participants will be putting their query up on their blog so that they may receive feedback from other participants and anyone else who might want to share their two cents. I’m not sure that I’m ready yet, but here it goes.
Dear Ms. Agent-of-my-Dreams:
I am seeking representation for THE MISTAKEN, a psychological thriller of 91,000 words. Told from alternating perspectives, it is the story of a vengeful man struggling to save an innocent woman from the ruthless men he’s mistakenly set upon her.
Skylar Karras is no longer an honorable man. Gone is the doting husband, the sibling who never failed to bail his brother, Nick, out of trouble. In his place is a different man, one broken by grief, blinded by rage and consumed with vengeance. His target is a stranger, the woman responsible for the death of his pregnant wife. He doesn’t know her, but he’ll find her, and when he does, he will make her pay. But to do so, Sky must get into bed with Nick’s thug associates in San Francisco’s Russian mafia. They’re experts in human trafficking and Nick’s plan offers Sky the perfect solution: his fill of sweet revenge and the chance to free his brother from the Russian’s control. But as he stumbles forward in a numbing haze of alcohol, Sky mistakes the wrong woman for his intended victim, sending all his plans straight to hell.
With his eyes made clear by the stark reality of his mistake, Sky is driven, compelled by remorse and a relentless sense of guilt to make amends and protect Hannah Maguire, the innocent woman whose life he has derailed. He vows to keep her safe and out of the hands of the Russians, but they’re holding Nick as leverage to force Sky to complete their deal and turn over the girl. It’s a race against the clock as Sky strives to be the man he used to be, risking all to defend Hannah’s life and secure Nick’s freedom. But desperation leads him to a place darker than he ever imagined and he simply can’t do it all: save the girl, his brother, and his own soul. One of them must make the ultimate sacrifice.
Charged with the raw emotions of human loss and regret, I believe my novel would appeal to fans of Greg Iles’s Turning Angel, James Scott Bell’s Try Dying, Neil Cross’s Burial and even Alexandre Dumas’ classic, The Count of Monte Cristo.
I am an interior designer living in Sammamish, Washington with my husband, teenaged son and two singing sled dogs. Though I no longer have ties with anyone in San Francisco’s Russian underworld, I have loosely based my novel on villains and events from my past.
My research has unveiled your interest in thrillers. I have included the first five pages within the body of this email. I would be happy to provide a full synopsis, additional chapters, or the complete manuscript. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Best Regards,
Nancy S. Thompson
(Personal info redacted)
So what do you think? (This is me biting my finger nails!)
