He always seemed so approachable and made the formidable goal of getting published somehow seem attainable. I read his postings every day, searched back into all his old archives, read all the forums and followed him on Facebook. I was thrilled for him when he got his own book deal. His blog is kind of like home base for wannabe authors.
Well today, those of us who consider Nathan to be a sort of god in the literary world we so greatly aspire to be a part of received just about the worst news possible, second only to him kicking the bucket. Nathan has quit his job as literary agent to join CNET. My first response was to lay my head down and cry my eyes out.
Last night, after all these longs months of writing, editing and critiquing, I finally reached that point where I thought "I'm done! I'm ready to move on and start querying agents." And Nathan would have been numero uno on my long list. Actually, I did send five queries out last summer when I first finished and thought I was ready. I did send Nathan a query, but received no response, which was strange because Nathan always responds to queries. It's one of the reasons we love him.
Of course, I regretted sending him that query because I realized a few days later that I was not actually ready. So I was pumped to see a posting from Nathan informing those of us who had sent in queries within a small window of time that his server had been down and we should resend our queries. I thought it was serendipitous that I was included in that group because I could query Nathan again when I was ready. Which is now. Only today I hear he's left the business! UGH! Talk about bad timing!
I know, I know, there are hundreds of other agents out there and the chance that Nathan would have picked me were minuscule, at best, but I was actually looking forward to that rejection letter since he is well known for personalizing his rejections and giving great feedback. So at least I would know how to revise my query. But no, he's gone and I feel abandoned. I do have other agents whose blogs I follow, but there is simply no one out there quite like Nathan Bransford. I am going to miss him so much.
And it's pretty bad timing, too. During all these months, I've become very attached to the characters in my book. They are like family to me. I could have a love affair with my male protagonist, he's so yummy, though in a flawed, sad kind of way. I'm finding it extremely difficult to be away from their world, even though it's scary and tragic. I feel like I've lost them and Nathan in one fell swoop. It's depressing in a schizophrenic kind of way. Those four other heads I carried around on my shoulders for the last eight months are gone and the one person I looked most forward to sharing them with is gone, too. It is a very sad day for...very sad indeed.