Monday, March 5, 2012

Second Campaigner Challenge



Uh oh, Rachael Harrie’s at it again.  She’s just released the rules for her Second Campaigner Challenge, and this one ain’t so easy.  Rachael’s rules are in green and my replies are in red.  My challenge entry follows right after the five promts. 

Do one or more of the following:

Write a pitch/logline for a book based on the prompts (less than 100 words   Done!

Write a short story/flash fiction piece of less than 200 words based on the prompts  Check!

Write a poem with a twist using the prompts as inspiration (in less than 200 words)  Uh, no.

Write a story/poem in five sentences, each sentence based on one of the prompts   Forget it.

Write a poem/flash fiction piece (in less than 200 words) about the water pear *without* using the words “pear”, “spoon”, or “droplet”.    Not gonna happen.

For added difficulty/challenge:

Complete at least three of the above activities and tie them all together with a common theme (feel free to either state the theme in your post or leave us to guess what it might be)  Yeah, that’s not gonna happen either.  I struggled with just the two items, and it’s already nearly two in the morning, so…

Write in a genre that is not your own   This one I can handle.  I tried a little light fantasy, at least I think it’s fantasy.  You tell me.  I have absolutely no experience reading or writing in the genre. 

Ask Challenge entrants to critique your writing. After the Challenge closes, you may wish to re-post your revised piece(s), and I’ll include a Linky List at the bottom of this post for those wishing more feedback on their revisions (note: revised entries will not be judged, so please label clearly your original post and your revisions. Please do not offer critique unless someone asks for it, as per the usual blogging conventions. If you do ask for critique, make sure you ask for it clearly so people know you want it, and please be prepared to receive feedback that may not be 100% glowing. If you are a critiquer, please be tactful and courteous, and remember to provide positives as well as negatives.)   Okay, I can handle this part.  I think.  So go ahead and critique it, if you’d like.  I can take it.  Just be polite. 

Here are Rachael’s Prompts:

Prompt 1:
Two people are sitting together under the remains of a concrete bridge. Their backs are against a rusted bridge support. One person’s leg is cut. The other person has wet hair.

Prompt 2:

Prompt 3:

Prompt 4:

Prompt 5:

________

My flash fiction entry, at 199 words:

TAZI'S WISH

Tazi raced along the promenade, his cloak a crimson flash against the sparkling azure sea.  His tiny legs pumped, but the little wizard could draw no closer to the Wishing Orb.  It remained at a fixed distance, taunting him.
This was crazy.  He was a shaman, like his grandfather.  But Tazi had never been taught how to harness his magic.  Frustrated, he pulled out his wand, the one his grandfather had just given him, when they hid from the Spectral Guard beneath the ruins of the Empyrean Bridge
Even as the lifeblood poured from the injured man’s leg, Tazi’s grandfather raised the staff and tapped it against his grandson’s foot.  A funnel of water twisted up around Tazi’s body, swirling in a giant teardrop.  In a flash, the water exploded, and Tazi began to tumble through empty space, encased only in a gilded cage of whirling stars. 
Then, with the wand in hand, Tazi crashed, but in an unfamiliar land littered only with filth and scavenging imps.  Except for the Wishing Orb, rolling along the promenade.  All he had to do was touch it and wish himself home, if only he could reach it. 
Tazi raised his wand.  Poof!  

My Pitch for Tazi’s Wish, at 42 words:

Stranded in an unfamiliar wasteland, the young wizard, Tazi, must learn to harness the power of his grandfather’s magic wand to capture the Wishing Orb and return home, or risk becoming a lost scavenger imp adrift in a sea of decaying debris.    
________

That’s it.  If you enjoyed it, please click on over to  Rachael's
and “like” my entry.  I’m number 5.   Thanks!!



52 comments:

Lynda R Young said...

I'm sensing you aren't a poetry writing kinda gal ;)

Your entry for this challenge is brilliant. I loved it.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Incredibly creative! And your reasons why the others 'weren't going to happen' were funny.

Siv Maria said...

Are you sure this is not a genre you are comfortable writing in? This was incredibly enjoyable to read and I would love to read more.

meradeth said...

Fun entry! I enjoyed it!

Jenna Walker said...

I would have never come up with that in a million years. Love reading fantasy but I'm not much of a fantasy writer. Loved this entry though-- I really want to know if there's more. I'll go like your entry now. :)

Chris Fries said...

I liked it Nancy, and thought you did a great job of working in the prompts.

Well done! ;^)

Rachel Morgan said...

Haha! I did the one you said "Forget it" to!
Anyway, your logline is really good. And yes, that's definitely fantasy!

xx Rachel
My entry

T.D. McFrost said...

Very interesting take on the prompts there, Nancy.

The logline needs more urgency, being an imp adrift in a sea of debris doesn't evoke any sense of fear or oh-my-god-he-is-going-to-die-if-he-doesn't-succeed. Up the stakes.

You killed the flash fiction piece, though! Great job!

Melissa said...

Very original and enjoyable. Good job!
Melissa Maygrove - entry #14

Tara Tyler said...

that was cute! really liked it!

Angela Orlowski-Peart said...

Wow, Rachel is getting more and more creative! This challenge is tough, and it makes me think that I'm glad I'm not participating this time, haha. I love your remarks and I sympathize - poetry is not my strongest genre either.

I enjoyed the setting, the characters and how easily you incorporated the required elements into your story. The only thing that I would advise is to simplify some of the descriptions, for example - instead of "a gilded cage of whirling stars", try "a cage of whirling stars". We know the stars are golden, so no need for the "gilded" :-)

Great job with the pitch: easy to follow, not over-complicated, only the key points are highlighted.

Good luck! I'm casting my vote for you, Nancy.

Morgan said...

Giiiirl... you've got skills...

Seriously, this was awesome. Just "liked" ;)

Juliana L. Brandt said...

That totally made me laugh about how you commented on each of those ;)

I especially loved your pitch! Heading over to 'like' now!

Kevin Hiatt said...

I hate how I always feel good about my own stuff until I read someone else's stuff and wonder where in the world they came up with such tremendous ideas. Very cool. Throwing a like your way.

Jennifer Fischetto said...

I love the visuals. You are wonderfully descriptive. :)

Joylene said...

Looks like a challenging challenge. See how I made a verb AND a noun from the same word? LOL. That's the extend of my participation, I'm afraid. I'm stuck painting the main bathroom. Just stopped to see what you guys were up to. Have fun.

Carrie Butler said...

I loved it, Nancy! You used the prompts so well and connected the dots in a way I could've never imagined. I'm impressed! :D

Elise Fallson said...

Fantastic entry and love the pitch. You rock! Also, thanks for the follow, I'm happy to follow you too!

Donna Hole said...

Way cool; excellent use of all the prompts. That was a great logline too. I was engaged through the entire story. The pacing and visualizations were well done.

.......dhole

(PS: I'm not in the challenge . .)

A.E. Martin said...

Great piece, definitely sounds like an interesting story, I got pulled in =)

Ashley Nixon said...

Man! That was a great pitch! And I really like Tazi! I also love how you dealt with all the prompts! Such a great combination!

Cherie Reich said...

Great job! And yes, it is fantasy! I would read more.

Liza said...

Love it, and your pitch is awesome!

Lady Gwen said...

I loved the whole shebang! Well done. Looks like Tazi got home? I hope....

Christy Farmer said...

Very creative, Nancy! I love how you showed Tazi's frustration :-)

YelenaC said...

What a fun fantasy read! Really liked the pitch, too.

Lisa L. Regan said...

Good God you are mad, crazy talented. That was amazing and so natural. I'm so impressed!

Alleged Author said...

I have no background in fantasy either! You have so much creativity!

Cynthia said...

I like how the story has a Wizard of Oz feel to it! Thanks for sharing.

Gwen said...

Tazi sounds like such a cute wizard! I'd love to read about his adventures.

#38

Daniel Noyes said...

This is really good. Nice job!

C.M.Brown said...

Fun! Interesting story! I liked it!

Ty-shaun Aristoph Coles said...

WOW! You blended everything together, so well. The setting, Tazi (very cool character) and the tone in the message. Tis obvious that I like this a lot and I like your style of writing as well.

Kudos!

Tasha Seegmiller said...

This was really fun and very creative! Well done - loved it.

Freya Morris said...

Great post.

For a bit of fun - I've tagged you on the Lucky Seven Meme:
http://freyamorris.blogspot.com/2012/03/lucky-seven-meme.html

sue said...

Excellent pitch - good story but maybe because i don't read fantasy much I didn't understand the purpose of the injured man's leg... Otherwise great idea and character
Sue #48

KSCollier said...

I really liked this. Wonderfully descriptive, and loved your idea.

Nick Wilford said...

Very creative and definitely felt magical. A lot of people are turning out to be surprisingly good at genres they thought they couldn't do! Amazing what we can do outside our comfort zone (and at nearly two in the morning). "Liking" it!

Cortney Pearson said...

Nice work! I love the magical descriptions, I could really picture everything! Great pitch, too.

JEFritz said...

I think you captured fantasy perfectly. Great job!

Julia King said...

Looks like the beginnings of a great MG story. I liked it lots and the pitch was intriguing.

Empty Nest Insider said...

You did a great job incorporating all of the magic into the prompts! I'm off to vote for you! Julie

Honey said...

Great job using the prompts AND writing in a different genre. That's hard to do!

Jenny said...

Very, very nice. This would be a great MG novel. If you haven't considered it, you may want to go for it and see where the story takes you.

Traci Kenworth said...

Love that the child was a little wizard!!

RaeAnn said...

Great job! Oh and thanks for the prize...

Jessica Salyer said...

Okay, so what happens to the poor little wizard. Seriously. Great job!

Mina Burrows said...

Awesome! Wonderful job! Love the story too.

Susan Roebuck said...

That was almost a whole book in 200 words ! I loved it, you even managed to conjure up a lovely setting, and loveable character. Well done.

Deniz Bevan said...

Love how you used all the prompts - and that pitch sounds like a real story. Can't wait to see the novel version :-)

The Capillary said...

I liked this one! It felt quit heartfelt.

If I had to critique anything it would be your second paragraph. The placement of the information I think was good timing. The sentence structure feels a bit off though.

If I was to take the paragraph I'd reword it to something like, "Like his grandfather Tazi was a shaman. When the two of them had fled from the Spectral Guard beneath the ruins of the Empyrean bridge his grandfather had given him the wand. He clutched the heirloom in his hand until he became slippery with sweat: Tazi had never been taught to use his natural ability to weild magic, but he knew what it was capable of."

By all means ignore this comment if you don't feel it has been helpful!

kelworthfiles said...

Fun stuff! Thanks for sharing, and I don't immediately see anything to criticize. I love the image of the young wizard (just how young?) racing to catch the orb.